What the eclipse taught me.

 

What I learned from the eclipse.

To be honest I am still processing all the changes from this event. So far, this is what I have to share.

The eclipse has shown me how much I was trying to push down my shadow, the parts of me I was ashamed of, and the labels that no longer fit, before I learned all their magic. I was pushing, shoving, and praying for it to be healed before actually doing the work. So I dug in deep.

First, what is the shadow? Some call it the darkness, the “negative,” the parts I/we wish didn’t exist, the parts that made me feel weird, different, and anxious or sad most of the time. Another name is the unconscious, the parts you are so unaware of you don’t know they are ruling your life. As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.”  The parts of me that I don’t relate to or didn’t even belong to me in the first place or did it? The parts of me I was still in denial of, didn’t want to see. Instead, I tried to, “fake it til I made my way out of it.” The parts of me that were still trying to please everyone around me because I didn’t feel worthy of their love. That’s what happens when you try to bypass the good stuff.

What happened you might ask,? Well, it all came rearing its ugly head at me.. I had SO MANY people/issues/situations pulling at me or contacting me until I learned I needed to put my needs first and set the boundaries I had been putting off and pushing down. I learned I needed to make my connection to spirit a priority to be happy.  I had medical emergencies for my pets until I learned to ask for help and asking for help wasn’t a weakness after all. It takes a lot of humility to ask a friend or stranger for money. That is such a taboo where I come from.

I saw where my issues came from and learned to go back and see from other people’s perspectives and learned everyone is just seeking love (spirit is love) in their own way. I saw everyone in my life as a mirror of me. I saw whatever I refused to deal with was being passed on to my kids to have to handle and as a momma bear, that wasn’t ok with me!  If there is something about people in my life that bothers me, it is a piece of me that I have yet to accept and heal or find the golden nugget in. If I like something about someone it is because that lives inside of me too. As you work on yourself your world changes like magic! When you learn to see the dark and the light as it is, all energy you can learn to shift, transmute, and play with the energy instead of being ruled by it. As Louise Hay once said, “If you change the way you view the world, the world you view will change.” Boy is that true!

I am learning to be no longer afraid of the dark. Not only the dark outside but inside my physical space that my body takes up, but those dark parts my spirit tries to hide from. The parts of me I am ashamed of,.  embarrassed by, afraid of, the parts of me that I no longer wish to carry along the path called life. I have been trying over and over to heal the broken parts of me forgetting the fact I am not broken at all. Come to find out, those parts of me I was trying to “heal” are some of the most juicy parts that make me whole.. Some of them are my battle wounds that I wear proudly. They not only got me here today, but they are the foundation I am now proudly rooted in because it is an honor. Once I saw all I had to do was love those parts everything fell into place. How can I expect someone to love me unconditionally if I don’t love myself that way? How can I expect someone else to love the parts of me I was trying to push away?

I remember the day my connection to spirit broke fractured and ripped apart. I needed to take the journey inside to find the pieces I dropped along the way like breadcrumbs left behind to navigate me back home. And I am so grateful I did. I had to shut out the world. Tune deep inside and now I will never be the same. And now, I feel I can drop the shame, the fear, and the guilt. And to finish with another great Carl Jung quote, “I am not what happened to me. I am what I chose to become.”